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Thoughts on Resentment

When people take an offense or  or are hurt by someone, they have the option of forming a resentment.  The world is a chaotic, interesting and wonderful place.  People will say things and do things that we do not like and it is very easy to take an offense when things and people do not behave the way we expect.

Everybody has expectations about life.  When we flip a light switch, we expect the light to come on.  This is because the switch is a mechanical device that has been behaving the same way for a long time.  When we flip the switch and nothing happens, there are specific steps that can be taken to rectify the situation.  People like the fact that their home, technology, cars and other machines operate as expected and that makes life simpler and allows things to flow without much thought.  This type of expectations are a great way to focus on what is important and not on the minutia.

However, when we apply the same level of controlling expectation to people, it can cause problems.  This is because people are not machines but they have free will (supposedly).  People follow their desires and preferences and those can change quite often.  So if a co-worker turns in their TPS reports on time and in such a way that others can get their work done, then the machine of business works well.  However, if the TPS generator misses one day because their lost their iPhone or their cat died, then others will also miss their reports and their output will suffer.  The machine of their business has hiccuped.  People have the choice of taking this lack of performance personally and resenting the TPS generator.  This resentment can bring about lack of trust, broken relationship and a feeling of indignant displeasure.

People in every every area of life can behave badly.  If a family member or a friend behaves in such a way as to offend or hurt or even injure a person then resentment can form.  When people take things personally, instead of trying to understand, then disappointment can result and relationships can be broken.

Resentment has no place in the life of a Christian.  When Christ died on the cross, he took all the sins of the elect and covered them with his blood.  Everything people have done is offensive to God.  God, who is holy, holy, holy is under no obligation to save us.  Yet he does.  Our standard for forgiveness is based on Christ’s forgiveness.  If someone injures or hurts or disappoints or offends a Christian, they should rush to forgive and give understand and support.  Forgiveness needs to be the top priority in the life of a Christian.  There needs to be nothing between two truly believing Christians.  Christians love with the love of Christ and if Christ died to fix our offenses and rebellion and treason against God almighty, we can forgive and overlook and fix anything that happens to us.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”  Matthew 18:21-35 (ESV)

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